i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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