The best revenge is premature balding
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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