Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
