I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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