I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
