So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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