when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
