and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
