Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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