new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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