Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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