'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
