I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
