4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
