I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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