the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
