If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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