Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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