end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.