Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.

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  (210): My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night. http://tfl.nu/m0j2
  Replies (61) Good night (3099) Bad night (1209)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me

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  (702): I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me http://tfl.nu/i2q6
  Replies (41) Good night (3131) Bad night (703)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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  (980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue
  Replies (29) Good night (840) Bad night (4843)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER

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  (203): my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER http://tfl.nu/olos
  Replies (30) Good night (951) Bad night (5328)
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  (714): View more from California

  you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...

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  (714): you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jilx
  Replies (21) Good night (698) Bad night (5347)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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  (860): Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal http://tfl.nu/x7fc
  Replies (19) Good night (6017) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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  (570): why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lm3z
  Replies (8) Good night (894) Bad night (2401)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here

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  (757): I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here http://tfl.nu/86vy
  Replies (4) Good night (1874) Bad night (718)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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  (+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1492) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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  (812): Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing. http://tfl.nu/xrfi
  Replies (26) Good night (1938) Bad night (1161)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.

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  (717): I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ow9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (538)
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  (607): View more from New York

  He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

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  (607): He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official? http://tfl.nu/vpzn
  Replies (6) Good night (1133) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Thanks for fucking me in last night

  (435): View more from Utah

  TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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  (435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm
  Replies (10) Good night (1491) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...

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  (360): we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us... http://tfl.nu/7rab
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

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  (201): Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again http://tfl.nu/vf35
  Replies (5) Good night (193) Bad night (559)

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