i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
