dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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