a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.