Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
