i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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