I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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