Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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