hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
