you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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