If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
