you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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