yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
