I think i peed on brittanys purse
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
