They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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