I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
