She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
