We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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