he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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