Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
