32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
