do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
