Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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