i don't like sucking hair
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
