He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
