I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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