I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He shit in the fireplace
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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