ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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