If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
my liver is dry heaving
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
