That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
