I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
