I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
