And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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