i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
