My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
