Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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