Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
