i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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