I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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