nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
