The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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