i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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