Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
