He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
