Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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