That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
