Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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