you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
