He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
