I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
